Let’s Re-Think Failure
'Failure is success in progress' - Albert Einstein
Many of us don’t relish the prospect of making mistakes irrespective of knowing they are inevitable, and that productive failure can be very instructive.
Challenging events are necessary for us to become stronger. Irrespective of whether they are because of a personal mistake or something beyond our control, valuable lessons can be learned when we fail.
So, what is so beneficial about failure? This sounds counterintuitive.
When things don’t go as expected, young people can be guided to critically reflect upon what needs their attention. They can learn to adapt their thinking. This may lead to greater innovation, unanticipated breakthroughs and creativity. Trial and error can be powerful. We can all recount examples of amazing ideas which have emerged because people have viewed themselves as problem solvers.
Nurturing, safe contexts, such as our ISWA community, foster critical thinking. We facilitate learning by doing and encourage students to ask, ‘What if?’ questions. Importantly, with opportunities to make mistakes, young people learn to assume responsibility for their decisions. It can also foster humility and empathy.

Mistakes aren’t detours — they’re a vital part of life’s journey. We want young people to feel supported to ‘have a go’ in our familiar, inclusive context. Being overprotective can hinder a child’s emotional growth, independence, and ability to cope with real-world challenges. It may seem sensible and kind to protect our young from mistakes but there can be negative consequences. As parents and teachers, resisting the instinctive urge to ‘fix’ can take practice, but it is definitely worth it. Trusting young people to navigate challenges without intervening reinforces our belief in them. It sends a message that they are capable. Without these, young people may become fearful, anxious and their resilience is low.
As a Visible Wellbeing school, we work daily with students to develop their coping skills. They need to learn that struggles are one aspect of embracing growth. When they are too risk averse, setbacks in all facets of their lives will negatively impact their relationships, mental health, and lives beyond school. We provide the healthy balance between timely guidance and freedom.

Here are a few possible questions to pose young people when unanticipated things occur –
- In what ways can you exploit what happened to view it as a lesson?
- What did this teach you about who you want to be as a person?
- Is there a way you might learn to be grateful for this consequence?
- How do you think this event helped you be stronger?
- Is there a way that you can approach challenging events in the future so that the outcomes are beneficial?
This article If you’re not failing, you’re not learning explores what the learning scientist Manu Kapur (who espoused theory of productive failure) believes about reframing our notions of failure.
Outside the school classroom and in the realm of sport, Dr Matthew Cunliffe, a consultant and sport and exercise psychologist at the University of Greenwich, reinforces these perspectives. He argues ‘Pushy parents are ‘biggest problem in sports performance’ (The Guardian October 18, 2025). He claims that children with parents who are ‘consistent, responsive, warm, reliable’ in their approach were likely to develop a secure attachment style giving them confidence in their sport. He warns that those who are ‘anxiously attached’ often crave approval and fear rejection. ‘Parents are there for the emotional support, the motivation, the encouragement, but it’s when they step over that line into coaching pressure that you get issues.”
In Let your teen fail, Eden Pontz from the Centre for Parent and Teen Communication (2025) explains why failing in a learning opportunity. Perhaps it’s salutary that we teachers, parents, and all those who dedicate themselves to young people, remember that it’s essential to model ways to manage and optimise failure?
Additional resources for families:
ü Raising healthy boys at home and in the community Common Sense Media































